A family-war scenario (not a story so far)

[girlsfightlover]

This is not going to be a story. I d love to write stories and post them here, my problem is just that English isn' t my first language. I surely could express what I want to tell in short words, but I don t feel able to describe every action in a fight detailed, e. g..

But I still want to tell about my favorite fantasy and have a try to see something develope out of it. Would love to hear your thoughts about the scenario.

The setting is a world in which fighting for women is a usual thing to do. All girls have to learn how to fight, and when they should get old enough to leave school on that day they ll know any fighting technique and can handle any kind of weapon if needed.

In this world me and my brother are married to two sisters who badly hate each other. Their dead father has been a multi-billionaire so both families have enough money to do whatever they want. Me and my brother both manage one half of our father in laws company, our women concentrate on the violence.

Both couples have 5 daughters each. They made sure to get the kids at nearly the same time. The two oldest girls are 19, the other couples of girls are 17, 15, 13 and 11.

All the girls are fighters more or less, all are supposed to fight their cousins of same age by their mothers. Once they will be all adults (some might not reach that age) they ll be at war with their sisters too over the families heritage. They all fight their cousins, but the relationships can be different. In my fantasy the oldest girls tend to meet in private and beat the shit out of each other brutally, but they don t desire to kill their rival cause they respect each other and would miss each other. The 17yo lead rival streetgangs and are at total war with each other, while the 15yo start to develope deep lesbian feelings for their supposed deadly enemy. The 13yo girls are totally crazy and brutal. They ve shot at each other and fought with knives already. They also lead two gangs formed out of girls their age. The youngest ones are still under direct control of their moms so that they cannot really make their own decisions yet.

I ve tried to do a series of stories out of that in my own language once. Unfortunately I ve lost them - and there is no place where they d fit in anyway. Maybe some English work could be done out of that - other idea I had (just don t know if it would work) to do something interactive out of it, one writing out of the sight of one family, another one responding for the other side. But then still the problem would be that my English is far away from perfect.

However, I would love to read your opinions and thoughts on the scenario and hope this fits into this board.

[Fuentes]

There is absolutely nothing "wrong" with your language skill.

[girlsfightlover]

Thank you. But if I have to describe something in detail I often miss the right words. And fighting stories have to be detailed sometimes

[Jessikafights]

Hi!

Your scenario sounds interesting & your English is not bad at all! There are also many online translators nowadays that can translate different languages into English & maybe you can run some terms or phrases you're unsure of through one or more of these ... But suggest you give it a shot ... or maybe someone here can collaborate with you to polish it in English? Any volunteers?

Ciao
Jessie

[Ted Mark]

Few of us can handle mass scenes. Mt Cage is brilliant at it, JohnSmith2007 has done well.

This would be my favorite movie - no MINISERIES:welcome:

[girlsfightlover]

Thank you for the warm welcome. I maybe will try to write some smaller story in English before I try something with that many characters. But some day I want to manage to do something out of that idea that I do have for years already now.....

[Lycidian]

Sounds like a very interesting scenario. Brutal death fights are not really my thing but I stilll visit this board as there are many good catfighting stories that do not end in death. This sounds like the makings of a good story either way.